January 29th - Sesame Street's Ernie's birthday🦆

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Someone says they will come by for the Surprise bag this afternoon. I called the guy who's advertised in the Star Ledger for buying costume jewelry and postcards. Went to the dentist and I've got to go on Monday to be fitted for the crown and it will take two weeks to get there. I dropped the towels off at the community center.  

Then I came home and stated to cry.  I'm losing my mind about when things can get done. I'm finally come to understand things are going to be different. I am feeling the same way as when we sold Mom's house. I can barely stop crying. 

Someone picked up the bag, so I've only got one to go.

Jackie sent the FedEx label and said it needed to be sent right away to avoid delaying the closing. I sent her a message asking if we could delay the closing because we can't afford paying $350 a day to keep the stuff that needs to be moved out of here. It has to be gone before the 30 days are up - we can get a hotel, but we can't get the furniture and stuff into storage. I can't deal with this anymore. Suicidal ideation, but don't think I could even do that - I do want to see if everything works out for Steven's sake.

I dropped off the paperwork to be picked up by FedEx at Walgreens and got Steven some Melatonin. It was 2 for one. I also picked up my vanilla wafers. I need comfort food. I went to the library and share my depression with Joan and got a few hugs, which I really needed. Also saw Lynda Plessner - she's on my Christmas card list. A very nice lady. I picked up a small pinecone from the big tree outside the library. I might try to plant it at our new house, and we'll see if it starts to grow.